


You Can (Not) Forget

by ThinkKing



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Action, Dimension Travel, Eventual Romance, F/M, Mecha, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29384739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThinkKing/pseuds/ThinkKing
Summary: Shinji, alone in a world of his own making, save for a ghost his mind has conjured to torment him, realizes too late that this isn't what he wanted. Now, offered a second chance by an Angel from a different dimension, will he be able to forget his old world and forge a new path? Can the Third Child avoid the mistakes of the past? Or even now, in a new world, will the past follow?
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Kudos: 6





	You Can (Not) Forget

The sky above was red, bleak, and hope shattering. The world was silent, razed and void of all life except for one. A boy stood atop the rubble of a broken building. He looked no older than 14. White hair covered his red eyes. His hair used to be brown, eyes blue. He remembered since it was not too long ago. He didn't really mind the change though – he was reminded of Rei this way. The boy, Pilot of Eva Unit 01, looked to a large object: A mountainous structure that undoubtedly resembled Rei's face. Like he could ever forget her with such a thing around.

Turning away from her, Shinji looked out at the sea of LCL before him. Its orange color making him sick just looking at it. He could smell it – the stench. It smelled of blood; of death and all he could think about when looking at it was how his life had gone so wrong. From the moment he first set foot inside Unit 01 to the initiation of Third Impact. He wondered if this was the world he wished for – this loneliness. Was it worth it? He already knew the answer to that.

"I made a mistake," he said, "I made a mistake..." Shinji crumpled to his knees, wondering what he would do now. He wanted to go back so badly. He wanted to fix everything; he needed to.

"Damn right you made a mistake, Third! You killed everyone! You killed me." Shinji didn't react to the voice. He was positive this was his mind's way of punishing himself. He was crazy or something – he knew, but he just didn't care anymore. Shinji glanced to his side, taking in the bandaged, plug suit adorned form of Asuka. Long red hair covered her left eye – or what was left of it. Her right eyes was fine, a beautiful blue color that currently held a malicious glint in it that was all for him. Asuka looked like she should be dead – and she was. He'd strangled her to death when she'd appeared in this world along with him.

He didn't know why he'd killed her. Pent up anger? A dash of sexual frustration? Out right hate? He honestly didn't care about that anymore either.

"You know, Third," started Asuka, "Watching you die alone here by your own making will definitely be amusing, but it just won't satisfy me. You deserve to suffer more. A lot more. I wish you could, at least then you'd be able to truly pay for your sins."

Shinji looked away from the girl, focusing his attention back on the sea.

"I made a mistake…"

"Then fix it."

Shinji rolled over, looking behind him at the sound of the voice; this wasn't Asuka. Had his mind created something else to torture him? He wasn't so sure. There was a woman there; she didn't resemble anyone he knew. Dark, flawless, brown skin was what he noticed first, a white dress billowing in the wind as it clung to her form. Her hair was long and white, as were her eyelashes; her eyes were red. It didn't take Shinji long to make a connection.

"You're… an Angel?" he asks. The woman smiles faintly, floating down to the rubble. Now standing before him, she nods.

"Yes. However, I am not of your world – I suppose I was at one point. In some form, but I am not the same as then. Different, yet not," she pauses here, noting Shinji's bemused look, "I am confusing you. I will explain." Shinji only gives a nod.

"You know of the Dirac Sea, yes?" Shinji nods, fidgeting slightly as he remembers his fight – or lack thereof – with the Angel Leliel. It had trapped him in its Dirac Sea and he almost died trying to escape. Ritsuko had later told him it could be the door to other dimensions or something like that.

"I am the Angel who has control over it. I am Leliel."

"That's impossible," interjected Shinji, "I – I killed you," he finishes lamely. Was it smart to say you'd killed someone to their face? There was something wrong with the thought he'd just had in itself. How do you tell someone you killed them to their face if they're dead?

"Yes, you did. Something that the Leliel of this world, I'm sure, could have never foreseen. As I have said, I am she, yet not. As the only angel to freely control the Dirac Sea, I am able to interact with my many selves. We are one, but separate." Shinji nodded again, getting the gist of what she meant.

"I desire your assistance, so I sought you out. You said you made a mistake, yes?"

"Yeah…"

"Then, my brother," she smiles again, kindly, "Would you like to fix it?" Shinji nods.

"I need to fix it."

"Then come with me. Another dimension requires your assistance. It is similar to your own, but I warn you there are some differences. Small and large."

"Are my friends – are they alive there? Is Rei... Is Asuka?" Leliel nods.

"Then I'm coming."

"That is wonderful, but first, we must do something about your appearance – and your attitude. Do you have the resolve for this? Truly?" asks Leliel.

Shinji turned away from her, looking out at the LCL Sea once more. There was nothing left for him here. He'd ruined everything and now he just wanted to forget. He wanted his friends back. He wanted this tragedy to be avoided at all costs. He wanted to bury these memories with better ones, brighter ones, happier ones. He'd give anything for that – it was time to stop running away. Turning back to her he gave his reply.

"Yes."

"That is delightful. Now, concerning your appearance. I cannot change you back into your human form; it is impossible. You are brethren to us now, an Angel. I can, however, teach you of your abilities. I will go into more detail at a later date, but for now I will help you with this. We can decide our appearance on a whim and as I'm sure you discovered thanks to your Tabris, we can hide what defines us as Angels. Both are simple matters of will. Just focus on the form you wish for and as for your status as an Angel, you must refrain from using your AT field. It is the simplest way to fool your companions." Shinji nodded again, taking in her words. She was being awfully helpful – but that concerned him. As Shinji did as he was told, focusing on his old features, he asked just that.

"Why are you helping me? I killed you – in a way. Shouldn't you want revenge or something?" Leliel shook her head, smiling once more.

"Revenge is not our way. In this dimension, I was your enemy, yes. The same cannot be said though, for the me that exists in my own dimension. You will understand in time, but for now, we must hurry. You have an angel to defeat."

"An Angel? I thought you weren't my enemy."

"Yes, I am not your enemy. The same does not hold true to all the other Angels you have faced, I am afraid. Now," said Leliel as a black portal appeared behind her. Holding out her hand, she waited, "Come."

Shinji, though concerned, decided this was his best bet in reclaiming everything he'd lost. Looking to the orange sea one last time, he clenched a fist before taking her hand. She pulled him toward her and with a scathing remark from Asuka that Shinji was thankful only he could hear, they vanished into the Dirac Sea.

==X==

"How's Shinji?!" demanded Misato, her blue hair flying behind her in a rage as she leaned over Hyuga. Her brown eyes narrowed into a glare with no direct target. If anything, she was angry at herself.

"No response. Condition unknown," he replied.

Central Dogma was abuzz with the bark of orders and yelled replies. Sachiel had just put a hole through Unit 01's head and it had gone silent. The synchronization's inverting. Lieutenant Colonel, Misato Katsuragi grimaced; there was nothing she could do and she felt like she'd just sent out an innocent boy to his death.

"So that's it," she frowned, "Abort mission! Pilot's safety is our top priority! Get him out of there now; eject the plug!"

"It's no use," shouts Maya, turning to the lieutenant Colonel in her chair, "All remote links have been severed!"

Misato looks back to the screen, observing the unmoving form of Unit 01 as worry mars her otherwise attractive face. Her eyes widen, fear grabbing hold of her. She'd done it. She'd killed an innocent 14 year old boy.

"Unit 01 reactivating!" exclaimed Maya. The technicians of Central Dogma watched as its remaining eye glowed a violent yellow. Its jaws opened and a roar escaped, giving them all goose bumps.

"Oh no," whispered Misato.

"It's gone berserk," finished Ritsuko, her green eyes dilating, unsure of what would happen next.

"Pilot's okay!" yelled Hyuga, grabbing their attention, "I've got his pulse. Pilot Ikari is fine!"

"What?!" Ritsuko replied, disbelievingly; her blond hair fluttering behind her with how quickly she turned her head. Unit 01 shouldn't be able to go berserk if the pilot was still conscious. Not unless…

"Pilot's Sync Ratio is skyrocketing!" exclaims Maya, "It's at 165% and counting!"

"My god…" said Ritsuko, breathlessly, "What is happening?"

==X==

Shinji winced in pain as he held his hand to his head. Looking around he could see that he was inside the entry plug, and standing before him was the first angel he'd ever fought, Sachiel. Its long arms and legs, its broad shoulders, and its creepy, bird-like angel mask. All in all, it looked very opposing, but compared to the things he'd fought following its attack, it wasn't impressive.

So this is what she meant by me having an Angel to defeat, thought Shinji, She couldn't have brought me here before Unit 01's arm was broken and its eye was gone? He frowned. He'd have to talk to Leliel about her planning later. For now though, he had an Angel to kill.

Whatever. Mother? There was no response to him for a moment, but then a distinct voice replied.

Shinji? You – how do you?

I'll explain later, mother. Right now, I need your help.

Of course.

Shinji smiled as he focused, his sync rate climbing and climbing. Once it reached the hundreds Unit 01 howled and stood. Sachiel turned to him, a beam coming from its eyes immediately. Taking hold of the controls Shinji responded, jumping above the beam easily. The Umbilical cable was destroyed and the timer began to count down.

As Shinji landed, his feet crashing into Sachiel's frame he almost laughed. He wouldn't need the full five minutes he had. Yelling, he brought Unit 01's fist down on Sachiel's mask. Its eyes glowed and Unit 01 swiftly jumped back, erecting an AT field as the beam slammed into him. Its pink light splayed across the hexagonal barrier, withering out of existence; never making contact with Unit 01. Buildings around Shinji and Unit 01 were reduced to smoldering rubble, but he stood unscathed.

The massive purple giant growled, steam leaving its jaws as it bent its knees.

"Let's tear it to shreds," said Shinji, his eyes narrowed. Unit 01 bellowed out a guttural roar before Shinji commanded it to charge. It did so, Unit 01's feet digging into the concrete. The ground shook, glass shattered as it passed, cars were flattened beneath it on its warpath. Anything daring to get in its way would meet its end under the purple giant's mighty foot. Sachiel's AT field met the giant, abruptly stopping its assault.

"Break it!" yelled Shinji. Unit 01 growled in reply, raising its broken left arm. Blood gushed from it. As the muscles bulged, bone reconnected; Unit 01 had just regenerated its arm in a matter of seconds. The purple giant gripped the Angel's AT field and tore it apart effortlessly.

==X==

The Nerv staff of Central Dogma watched, astonished as Shinji and Unit 01 handled everything the Angel threw at them in stride.

"What's going on?" asked Misato, looking to Ritsuko. She hoped her friend had an explanation for what was happening. "He could barely walk just a few minutes ago! How is he doing this?!"

Ritsuko looked to her friend, shaking her head. She had no idea – and that was rare. Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, praised for her brilliance, was rarely stumped. If such a thing would happen, Misato would have called the person who'd told her a liar. Ritsuko didn't understand. Shinji shouldn't be able to move an Evangelion so effortlessly on his first sortie, he shouldn't have such a high sync ratio either. She glanced at it; the ratio had stabilized at 200%. This was unheard of.

"I – I don't know."

==X==

Sachiel's arms lashed out, hoping to catch hold of the Eva. Unit 01 grabbed hold of them, one in each hand. Placing a leg on Sachiel's core, Shinji pulled back the controls, and in response, Unit 01 pulled the Angel's arms. As Sachiel's skin began to tear it struggled, trying to free itself. One last time, it attempted to fire its beam – and much like the last time the beam met with an AT field. The beam rebounded, exploding in the Angel's face due to the close range. The explosion was the last thing Unit 01 needed to rip Sachiel's arms from its body.

The Angel's blood flew into the air, spattering across the street. Now Armless, Sachiel tried to do the only thing left to it. Sachiel jumped at Unit 01, hoping to self destruct on it. The Eva growled, throwing down the Angel's limbs.

"You're not sneaky enough to pull that off twice," growled Shinji as Unit 01's arm thrust forward, an AT field at its palm. Unit 01's hand met Sachiel's core and shattered it in one swift movement. The core and the angel's body exploded in a sea of red liquid, dying Unit 01's body and the streets below a deep shade of red.

Thanks mother, thought Shinji affectionately.

Anytime. Don't forget to explain how you know about – this; me. And how exactly you're able to communicate with me.

==X==

"Third Angel, Sachiel has been defeated," said Aoba, still in awe at what he'd seen. Misato nodded, a solemn look on her face.

"Recover Unit 01 and the pilot."

Commander Gendo Ikari watched the battle from his private office, Sub Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki at his side. His hands bridged in front of his face hid his expression, coupled with his glasses, but he was undoubtedly surprised. His son had done an extraordinary job, and there was no clear reason as to why.

"SEELE won't stay quiet about this," said Kozo.

"They will until they find out. For now, we must get to the bottom of this ourselves," replied Gendo.

==X==

A few hours had passed since the end of the battle and Shinji was now standing in front of the door leading to Misato's apartment. He didn't remember it taking this long for him to arrive here in his dimension, but he assumed that had something to do with his performance today. Ritsuko and Misato had kept him back for tests and questioning. Ritsuko wanted to make sure he hadn't suffered any contamination from his high sync rate.

Misato on the other hand wanted to know where he'd learned to pilot. She'd asked if his father had taught him in secret somehow. Shinji simply said it was his first time and that he must have a knack for it or something. It was certainly a lie, but she certainly wouldn't have believed the real reason. Not now and probably not ever.

"Well, Shinji," said Misato, dragging him from his thoughts, "this is your new home. Sorry about the mess," she said, sheepishly as they walked in. Shinji cringed as he looked around. He'd hoped to never have to clean Misato's place again, but this was one of the unavoidable downsides of coming here.

Shinji nods, probably not giving any better response than he did the first time he came here. He didn't really care though, a lot was on his mind and he was honestly just happy to see her again. The only thing he was unhappy about was the fact he had to keep the pendant he'd gotten from his Misato hidden, but he figured that was a good trade off for actually having her here with him.

He let Misato lead him to his room and when she walked to hers, hoping to catch a little shut eye, he walked into his. Shinji wasted little time in setting up his futon and falling onto his pillow. He was tired, much like he had been that first time around. He closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly.

"You did gloriously." Shinji's eyes snapped open and he turned onto his back, looking up at the floating form of Leliel. She was smiling down at him and as he sat up, she floated closer to him.

"Right…" he replies, still trying to get used to the idea of having an Angel he'd killed as an ally.

"I assume you have questions?" Shinji nodded.

"I'm confused – I guess. Why did you need me exactly? I mean, umm, not that I'm not grateful for the second chance, but… shouldn't there be a Shinji here?"

"I believe I told you, brother, that there would be some differences concerning your dimension and mine…" Leliel paused here, sighing. She wasn't sure how he'd take this exactly, but she would have had to tell him at some point, so she might as well do it now.

"The Shinji Ikari of this dimension is dead, brother."

"W-what?!" Shinji exclaimed stammering over his words in surprise, "But I… I beat Sachiel!" he yells, slamming his fist into the floor.

"Yes, brother, you defeated Sachiel. The you of this dimension, however, was not so strong. He died after Sachiel put that hole in Unit 01's head. This is why you were needed." Shinji massaged his temples, trying to take this all in.

I – he died, thought Shinji, shaken. That could have been me.

"Is there – is there anything else I need to know?"

Leliel shook her head. She would tell him if she knew anything else, but she did not know all that would occur in this dimension yet. There was no way for her to prepare her brother.

"I am, for what it is worth, sorry, brother. I do not know what is in store for you now, aside from what we already know about our Angel brethren coming to make contact with Lilith, everything else could change, or may have already. Even so, I will do all I can to assist you."

"That's something else I'm confused about," replied Shinji, "Why are you helping me? You're an Angel so why would you want this world to avoid Third Impact? You didn't say anything of the sort, but that is my goal and you're assisting me, so I assume you must think the same."

"We Angels do not have free will, aside from Tabris, of course," she replied, "Whether or not we agree with causing Third Impact, we cannot go against what our father, Adam, desires. That is how it is supposed to be, anyway. In this dimension, I have, like Tabris, been granted the privilege of free will. I personally do not wish to see Third Impact, so I am helping you."

Shinji nodded, not exactly wanting to be reminded of Kaworu – Tabris.

"I will help you with the rest of your Angelic abilities tomorrow, for now, you should rest. You have had quite the long day, brother. Good night." With that, Leliel rose into the air and vanished. Shinji lied down, a lot to think about.

"I just realized," he said to no one, "I didn't look out for Toji's sister…" Shinji swore silently, realizing that even though this was a brand new world, the old one could still follow him here. Forgetting would not be as simple as he had hoped – then again, nothing he ever wanted turned out simple.

"Toji's going to beat me up if he finds out I'm a pilot," sighed Shinji. As he fell into a fitful sleep, the young boy couldn't help but think tomorrow was going to be a long, exhausting day.


End file.
